All This Time Read online

  We stood face to face, throwing pent up anger at one another. Not full blown yelling, but our body language demonstrated enough aggression.

  “Just admit it. You ran because of what happened in the groves.”

  “Ha. You Bennetts. Think everything’s always about you.”

  “Groves?” Paul asks.

  “Shh,” Della spits.

  “The only fault I share with my brother is falling under the Olivia Benson spell.”

  “Oh, I see. I’m a curse now. Must be what made you cheat on your girlfriend at the time.”

  “Say what now?” Paul’s eyes grow big.

  It finally dawns on me we have an audience. My eyes roll to the RV where the door was left open, but there’s no sign of the kids peering out. We’re surrounded by other RV’s parked in their own sections, and thankfully, no one is paying us any attention.

  Hashing out our dirty laundry on the first day we’re all back together seems fitting. Luke always knew how to push my buttons just right.

  “The orange groves. It’s where they kissed.” Della studies us, an arm curled around one of her fiancé’s.

  “And Liv took off right after that,” Paul deduces. “That bad of a kisser, huh?”

  Leave it to Paul to try and lighten the mood.

  “Fuck off,” Luke responds, at least smiling somewhat now.

  “You knew the truth?” I ask Della.

  “Luke told me later on.”

  “This is so confusing.” I blow out a heavy breath of air. “I assumed you knew because Brady told me you left with Luke, but then I found out that he lied about everything else so I went back to thinking you didn’t know and I’d have to find a way to apologize for it anyway.”

  “What?” Della looks as confused as I sounded.

  “Brady told her you and I got left town together after I joined. Liv thought I was the fiancé you were talking about when she arrived.” Luke explains quickly to Della, then looks at me. “And you don’t have to apologize to her when you did nothing wrong.”

  “I kissed my best friend’s boyfriend. While she was at the same party.”

  “We broke up,” Luke argues. My mouth snaps shut. “Yeah. Della and I had already broken up because I had feelings for you.”

  I watch the truth leak from his eyes. The honesty, the relief to get this information off his chest.

  I look at Della for reassurance. She shrugs in a there-you-have-it kind of way.

  Had. Luke said it as past tense. So what I’ve been feeling since last night was probably unresolved feelings. It will go away. Especially if he continues to annoy the piss out of me.

  “Woooow. I knew about Della and Luke.” Paul swipes his hand back and forth from me to Luke. “But you two had a thing too?”

  “No,” I say.

  Della shakes her head. “It was too complicated back then. I understand that now, Liv.”

  I share a compassionate look with Della. The details are far from being spilled, but right now, in this moment, I feel the forgiveness as if she just handed it to me in a shiny gift wrapped box.

  “Is this a group hug moment?” Paul teases.

  “Shut up.” Della and Luke say at the same time.

  “This vacation is starting out fantastic,” Paul says with extra cheer.

  Luke grabs one of the discarded, rotten tasting drinks off the bar and douses Paul in it. Della screeches when some of it splashes onto her arm. I laugh hysterically. Until Luke comes at me with another one of the filled cups.

  “You better not,” I warn.

  He grins.

  ~~~

  The pantry in the RV is bigger than the one in my apartment. That’s just sad.

  I shut the door filled with the substantial amount of groceries Della and I brought back from the store. Paul’s started cooking, and luckily I already knew his cooking skills were better than his mixology.

  I left Brielle with the guys while Della and I shopped for food for the next week. Leaving without her felt…odd. If it’s not a work or school day then she’s with me. Everywhere I go. It took time and trust to leave her with Connor’s mom. Back when I worked two jobs there were often times I had to leave her with a friend of a friend of a friend. And I didn’t really have friends, so that’s saying something. I had no other options then. Survival meant blindly trusting a stranger so I wouldn’t miss work. That’s why, when I was able to quit working double jobs, I became very particular on who watches her.

  But I trusted these people here with me to take care of her as I would. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t strange to not have her attached to my hip.

  On the drive to Publix—the store only two miles from the campground so it was a short trip—Della and I took the alone time to clear the air.

  “I’m sorry,” I started.

  “For what?” She sends me a questioning glance before focusing on the road.

  “Kissing your boyfriend,” I reply, as if it should be obvious.

  “Wasn’t my boyfriend anymore, remember?”

  “Della, it’s Luke. Even when y’all were off, you were still on.”

  “True,” she shrugs. “But that last time was different. We both knew it.”

  “How?”

  “Well, for one, he starting falling for my best friend,” she smiles, but I see the flash of hurt even all these years later. “I noticed things. Like him staying at home with you more and more instead of taking me out. Every time we broke up in the past it was over a stupid, but giant argument. That last time he came to me—the night of his party—we weren’t even arguing. He told me he had feelings for someone else, strong feelings and he didn’t want to hurt me.”

  A memory flashes before me. The two of them standing close when I arrived at the bonfire. Her fake smiles and resigned behavior. I had planned on asking her if she was okay. But I never got her alone. And then I left town.

  “When I was ready to talk to you I couldn’t get a hold of you,” she continues to tell me. “Your dad didn’t know where you went, but he told me you were gone. Brady was acting sketchy. When Luke graduated from Basics I went to the ceremony. He told me then about the kiss.”

  “My phone broke,” I say softly, thinking back on that night I left. “And Brady told me everyone in town believed Luke and I were hooking up in the fields.”

  “It was such a shitty phone,” she shakes her head with humor. “God, I can’t believe him!”

  “Yeah. I called the garage from my hotel room. Brady was the one to answer.”

  “And that’s when all the lies fell from his lips?”

  “Yep.”

  I despised that man.

  “Anyway,” Della says, turning into the parking lot of the grocery store. “It all worked out the way it was supposed to. Luke and I are friends like we’ve always been.”

  “Della, I have to ask.” I bite my bottom lip nervously, but there’s something I need to know. “Do you have a problem with Luke and I being friends?”

  She pulls into an empty spot near the front, putting Luke’s truck in park. Her fingers tap against the steering wheel.

  “Luke and I have stuck together through many things. I try to watch out for him. Brady hasn’t made things easy in the last few years. I just want Luke to be happy, so I have a tendency to overreact and get in his business.”

  “We’re all friends. That’s all I want to fix, is our friendship.”

  “You and Luke were never just friends.” She turns in her seat, locking our gaze. “Do me one favor. Don’t deny that the way he did six years ago. If it happens this time for you two, let it. Don’t run away.”

  “I’m not running anywhere.”

  Her heavy words carried with me the rest of the day. The guys had taken the kids down to the pool when we got back. Water park was planned for tomorrow, and the campground has a ton of activities to keep us all entertained for a laid back day.

  They came back sun kissed and worn out. There were so many hands to help with two kids. I’ve never known the
kind of relaxation I’d been given today.

  The six of us sat together for dinner. Night closed in and soon we were giving the kids their baths and in to bed.

  “About the sleeping arrangements,” Paul says with sneaky suspicion.

  “What are you doing,” Luke growls, not really asking. By his tone, I’d say he already has a clue what Paul is up to.

  The pop-out I saw from the outside when we arrived is actually a room with two twin beds. Our bags were placed in there by Luke, which led me to believe that’s where Brielle and I were sleeping. Across from the room, separated by a narrow hall, were three small bunks, and at the very end was the master bedroom. The living space had a decent sitting area but the couch was more of a love seat with multiple recliners attached. Paul rented the fun bus, not the family-friendly bus. It was spacious, and more than enough room for everyone, but the layout wasn’t sleepy-time friendly.

  “I showed the kids earlier the cool bunks in the hallway. They kinda claimed them. Besides, I think they were made for little people. No way you can fit in there, Luke.”

  “If Bri wants to sleep in the bunks with Ethan, that’s fine by me,” I say to him, not seeing the problem.

  “Well, I don’t think Luke will fit on the couches either. Unless you want to sleep in a recliner…”

  “You’re smaller than me, why don’t you sleep in the recliner,” Luke tosses back with sarcasm.

  “I’m paying for this, so I get the big bed with my fiancé.”

  “Okay.” Della comes up behind Paul from said big room. “What’s the problem here?”

  “I was just informing Luke he’ll be sharing a room with Liv.” He grins.

  “Come again?” My eyes bug out.

  “You little—”

  “Tiny ears are listening, buddy,” Paul says, almost asking for the bodily harm Luke is about to dish out.

  “How did I ever live with you in the Army?” Luke asks to no one in particular.

  “Honey, what are you playing at?” Della slips an arm around his waist.

  “Seriously. How is this my fault?” One would almost see his point if he wasn’t giving it all away with a cheeky grin.

  If Luke is going to be sleeping three feet away from me, my big girl panties are not going to want to stay on.

  I try to act cool, like I’m not bothered with this new arrangement. Paul obviously wants the satisfaction of playing matchmaker. I won’t give him that. But I’ll get my revenge at some point during this vacation.

  “Let the kids have the bunks,” I say, lifting one shoulder. “Luke, if you prefer to sleep out here, go ahead, but Paul’s right. The bed would be more comfortable.”

  “You sure?” he asks.

  “It’s not like we’re sharing the same bed,” I laugh it off.

  “Right.”

  “We should get the kids down. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day,” Della murmurs.

  Her and I walk with the kids to the bunks. They climb up, Ethan taking the top and Brielle in the middle, leaving the bottom empty. One thing Paul didn’t exaggerate on was the size of these bunks. There’s no way I would have slept comfortably in there, and it sure as hell would have been a tight squeeze for Luke.

  By the time I finished my shower, another nice amenity to this giant bus, I peek behind the half drawn curtain on Brielle’s bunk to find her fast asleep. The TV in the front projected bright, flashing colors in the darkened space, and soften noises from the low volume. The door to Della and Paul’s room in the back was closed shut, most likely with them inside for the night.

  I wasn’t that tired, used to countless nights of staying awake after getting Brielle to bed. It’s the best time to get things done. Since there wasn’t anything to be done on vacation, I wanted to drink wine and lay back under the stars.

  I changed into a tank top and shorts for bed, but not wanting to be eaten alive by mosquitos I threw a baggy, long sleeve shirt over my head. It was a thin, gray men’s shirt I got in the first week I started working at my job. The tight collar drove me nuts, so I immediately cut the neck line in to a deeper opening that hung off my shoulder. It was thin enough I shouldn’t get too hot while sitting outside.

  In the kitchen, I could feel Luke’s eyes on me as I pulled down a wine glass while he sat on the couches. Opening the bottle we were already drinking from earlier, I filled my glass.

  Passing him, I snagged a small blanket off the couch nearest to the door.

  “I’m going to sit outside for a little,” I tell him in a quiet voice.

  “Okay. I’m going to go get my shower.”

  I nod, then step outside.

  The stream running along the campsite was not made for function. I’m not even positive it wasn’t man-made. It’s narrow, and if I had any curiosity—which I do not—I would no doubt find it’s only ankle deep. But the serenity of running water drifting with the current and slapping large rocks was enjoyment enough for this non-nature girl.

  God-given waterfalls and streams were beautiful, but I had no interest in seeking them out for the fun of it. I’ll stick with my flat lands of Florida.

  I drag a fold out chair to the edge of the water. As I hoped, the warm weather wasn’t too overbearing, and the little peace of river picked up just the right amount of coolness to grace a chill. I settled in and wrapped the light blanket around my legs.

  Trees covered the entire campground, but they were scattered out enough to look up and gaze upon the stars. Not that they twinkled very bright around here, but the moon sat high in the sky and lit my surroundings with a blueish hue.

  Now if I only had this view without the background noise from other campers. Most people have turned in for the night, though, some voices and laughter echoed off the trees.

  I drank my wine at a leisurely pace. When I was halfway through it, I heard a shuffle of feet coming up behind me.

  “Mind if I join you?” Luke asks, holding an identical chair in one hand, a beer in the other.

  “Please.”

  He sets his chair to my left, about two feet apart, and stretches his long legs out in front of him when he sits.

  “Beautiful night.”

  “Mm,” I mumbled from under my wine.

  “I’m sorry, Liv, about earlier.”

  I take a quick look his way, but turn back ahead when I find him staring at me.

  “It’s fine, Luke.”

  “No, it’s not.” His voice soft, endearing. “I’m so relieved you’re back, yet I attack you for old frustrations at the first chance I get.”

  “Better to hash it now, right?”

  “Do we need to hash anymore out?” he smirks.

  “I don’t think so,” I return with my own smile.

  “Good.” He relaxes back, facing ahead instead of watching me. “So tell me about this Connor guy.”

  This is him not hashing it out? Anyone could pick up on the subtle disgust when he says Connor’s name.

  “Not much to tell. We’ve been dating for a decent amount of time, but it’s not serious. For me, at least.”

  “But you think it’s serious for him?”

  “I don’t think Connor does serious at all. Not in relationships, however. But work? He’s very serious about his work.”

  “And you work with him…Don’t you worry what will happen when y’all break up?”

  My lips twitch how he says “when” and not “if.”

  “No, I don’t. I guess you’d just have to know Connor in order to understand.”

  “Speaking of odd little men. Paul rigged that whole sleeping arrangement thing.”

  I laugh quietly. “I gathered.”

  “If you’re not comfortable with me in there with you, I can sleep in the living room.”

  “Luke,” I say with finality.

  “Just trying to be a gentleman.”

  “That’s something you excel at. You don’t have to try very hard.” He grins, a spark setting off in his dark gaze. When his lips part, no doubt to ruin the moment,
I say. “Don’t make me regret that compliment.”

  We fall silent, enjoying the night and each others company. I’m well aware of how my entire body feels more alive when I’m near him. It’s a calm and ease like I’ve never known. But also a hyperactive dance of seduction. Like my blood and veins thrum with the beat of any one of the Fifty Shades songs from their soundtracks. Tell me you haven’t listened to that music and been turned on in the slightest?

  “Della mentioned your company with Paul is fairly new,” I say, needing to fill the silence or I’ll likely do something stupid.

  “We’ve had it for a year,” he replies. “Paul started it up when we were still in the Army. He knew he wouldn’t be reenlisting.”

  “But you were?”

  Luke shrugged. “I didn’t have anyone to go home to like he did. We did two tours. I enjoyed it as much as one can enjoy a hostile foreign country.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  “Brady needed me.”

  Luke, ever the loyal brother.

  And not a name I want to hear to ruin my night.

  “So you went in business with Paul.”

  “Yep. He taught me everything about computers. I love it now. It’s funny,” he shakes his head. “I left Calusa not knowing what the hell I wanted to do with my life. I sure as hell didn’t want to be a washed up mechanic at Neiland’s. No offense to Della’s daddy, but that wasn’t for me. I liked the Army enough to make a career out it, but I did miss our small town. I just didn’t know what I could do to have both. When Paul taught me code I thought it would just be a handy thing to know these days, but I love it. We write programs for companies servers, and I get to travel to pick up business.”

  “You found a way to make a good living in our small town,” I smile at him.

  “What about you? How’s life been?”

  “Can’t complain. My daughter is healthy and happy and my bills are paid on time for once.”

  “Was it hard in the beginning?”

  The rough first years on my own wasn’t something I discussed with anyone. But I’ve already established Luke sets me at an ease that makes me spill all my hidden secrets.

  “Very. I worked two jobs after Brielle was born, and still barely got by.”

  “I wish you would have came to me for help, but I get why you didn’t. As long as you and Brielle are happy, I say we move on and forget the past.”