All This Time Read online

  “I’m open too,” I blurt. “For the…note swapping.”

  Could I sound anymore dysfunctional?

  He grins.

  “Got any paper in that giant bag of yours? I didn’t bring my phone with me.”

  I write down my number for him.

  “I’m Olivia, by the way,” I say as I hand over the bright green sticky note.

  “Max.”

  Someone sets a palm down on my shoulder. I look behind me to see Luke standing close by.

  “I’ll walk back with you.”

  I nod, and as I pass him, his hand drops to the small of my back. It stays there until we walk through gate. Luke’s light touch causes more of stir within me than any of that flirting ever did.

  We walk in silence back to the RV. My heart melts a little more when Luke picks Brielle up from where she sluggishly walks between us, and carries her. Her small arms wrap around his neck, setting her head on his firm shoulder.

  The cool, welcoming temperature greets us when we step inside the RV. As soon as Luke lays Brielle down on the couch, she curls into herself and tells me she’s going to throw up. We run straight to the bathroom and make it just in time.

  When she’s finished I get her to take a shower and change into her pajamas, even though it’s only half past noon. Luke pops a movie she brought with us into the DVD player. The three of us get comfortable on the couch, her head in my lap, and Luke at her feet. He stretches his right arm along the back of the couch, his finger inches from my neck. Twenty minutes into the movie Brielle falls asleep. I can’t help the laughter that creeps to the surface as I notice Luke steadily watching the Disney princess movie, fully engrossed.

  He cocks his head my way as I shake with the laughter I’m holding inside.

  “You are seriously in to this movie,” I whisper.

  “Ethan watches stuff like this all the time.” He’s cute trying to cover himself.

  “Uh huh.” I grin, and keep teasing him. “Because Ethan would watch princesses over ninjas.”

  “It has singing. What’s not to love?”

  Pursing my lips, I watch him go back to being engrossed in the film. There’s no way he’s actually enjoying this.

  “You don’t have to stay, Luke. Go back to the pool with the others.”

  “I don’t want to be anywhere else.” He gazes down at Brielle. “If she’s sick I want to help you take care of her. I want you to understand you don’t have to do this alone anymore. She’s my niece, and you are… You are a lot of things to me, Liv. But I’m your friend more than anything else.”

  I swallow heavily, turning my face away from the fingers that remained behind my ear. His touch is distracting. And something I want more than my next breath.

  Keeping my focus on my sleeping beauty is the safest place to look.

  “Liv.”

  I tilt my head, showing him I’m listening, but too afraid to see what’s in his eyes. The movement catches his fingers, and he brushes them along my flesh.

  The door to the RV opens and Della pops her head inside. She sees Brielle sleeping between us.

  “How is she?” Della asks with concern, quietly stepping inside.

  “She threw up when we got back then fell asleep. No fever, thankfully.”

  “That’s good at least. We’re going out for lunch so she can rest peacefully. Want me to bring anything back? Maybe some soup and crackers?”

  “Will you, please?” I ask gratefully. That food would be easier on her than what we have in the pantry if she throws up anymore today.

  “Of course. Luke, you staying or coming with us?”

  “I’m going to stay with them.”

  Della nods, brushing Brielle’s hair gently before walking back out.

  “I’m going to go lay her down in her bunk.”

  “Here. Let me.”

  Luke shifts to the side to bend over and lift Brielle’s fatigued little body into his arms. She never wakes during the shuffle. I follow behind him down the narrow aisle to her bed. After he lays her down gently, I step in to cover her up, and place her stuffed animal beside her chest. Kissing her head, I leave her to rest and close the folding door that separates the beds from the front of the bus.

  “Want a sandwich?” I ask over my shoulder, walking into the tidy kitchen.

  “I can make it.”

  “It’s no problem. Just sit and finish your movie.” I smirk at him, hearing the familiar sing-a-long songs.

  I pull everything from the fridge, placing it all out on the island counter in the center. Luke joins me and we work in fluent silence, stacking our sandwiches with cheeses, meats, lettuce, pickles. I clean up as I go, returning the food to the refrigerator. I walk over to the corner of the cabinets to get a knife to cut my sandwich in half. I spin around right as Luke moves to get something else he needs. We collide, Luke’s front locking with mine in the tight space.

  Damn camping and it’s compact layouts.

  I gasp, and it’s not because I almost accidentally stabbed him.

  One of us needs to move. One of us should speak.

  Luke does one, and neither of us do the other.

  His hand grips my wrist holding the cutting knife, turning it away from our touching bodies until my hold loosens, letting it drop to the dark marble counters. Luke’s other hand curls around my waist. I close my eye and sigh at the feel of him pressed to me. Luke replaced his trunks earlier for a dry pair after we walked back, but kept his top half shirtless. I still walked around in my bikini and cross-back tank. The first time I’ve been this close to him, and we’re practically wearing no clothes.

  Naked or close enough is the way most people would want it, but when you’re trying your damnedest to keep things at a friendship level—hell, family in this case since he’s Brielle’s uncle—it’s nothing but raw torture.

  His body heat, his scent, it’s all warm and inviting and swirls my senses in to a storm of clouded despair. This. This is what’s been missing. And it’s with someone who should be off limits.

  “Liv, look at me.”

  “I can’t,” I shake my head, keeping my eyes tightly closed.

  “Yes, you can.”

  “Fine. I shouldn’t.”

  Luke brushes his thumb across my jaw, leaning his forehead down on mine.

  Just like a storm, the dark clouds have to release their thunder and rain across everything below them in order to shine bright and clear once again.

  “I’m not going to kiss you.” His voice breaks me wide open.

  “Why the hell not?”

  Luke’s lips tip up in a grin.

  “The last time I had you like this, in my arms, there were too many obstacles in the way. Right now there’s only one.”

  And it was a big one. His niece, my daughter. Not something we could simply set aside or fix.

  “Even if he’s not someone serious to you, I don’t want anything between us when we do this.”

  “What?” I ask, confused.

  “This Connor guy. He has to go.”

  “We’re dating, he’s not my boyfriend or anything.”

  Wait a minute. He’s referring to Connor as to what is holding him back. Not Brielle.

  And besides Brielle, there are many more obstacles we’d have to overcome. Like his brother, and the fact that I live two hours away.

  Wait another damn minute. Am I actually considering this?

  “I think you’re forgetting about the bigger issue here, Luke. You are Brielle’s uncle.”

  “Am I related to you?”

  “Ew. No.”

  “Then it’s not an issue.”

  I hold that dark gaze of his, falling in deep and letting it take over.

  He said he wouldn’t kiss me, but his eyes reveal that lie. I stand still, waiting for his mouth to descend on mine. I may have kissed him once in my lifetime, but I can’t even associate that younger version of Luke with the man towering over me right now.

  Every deep breath I take sends my
breasts into agonizing contact with his.

  Luke groans. “Fuck. I need a cold shower.”

  “It’s your stupid idea keeping you from kissing me,” I murmur seductively as I tip my head back, bringing my mouth closer. Begging him to give in.

  Luke drops his head to my open neck, running his lips along my heated skin. Touching, and yet not touching enough.

  “I won’t kiss you, Liv, because when I do I’m not going to stop. There will be no chance for interruptions. No excuses for you to give. I’ve waited a very long time to show you exactly what you do to me, and I will not be stopped when it happens. I want all of you. I always have.”

  I don’t breath. He turns his back to me, leaving his sandwich and heading for the shower.

  I. Can’t. Breath.

  Chapter Nine

  Our mother-daughter shopping trips typically consist of Brielle and I waiting for a department store to have a massive blowout sale, and then getting ice cream before returning home to paint each others nails with one of the four colors we own to choose from. This weekend, however, is breaking all of my budget friendly ways.

  Della’s come up to Tampa to shop at International Mall for bridal dresses. When she said it was a small wedding I thought I would get away with a simple dress—her color of choice—from Target. But she’s planned a whole day around the three of us shopping the mall, and even though my wallet may catch fire, I’m really happy she’s chosen to come and spend a girls day with Brielle and I.

  After our mini vacation I never felt more alone than when Luke dropped us off at home. It was back to the grind of work and every day life. In a city full of eccentricity, and yet I feel like the odd woman out.

  I missed my friends. Work seemed more dull when I tried interacting with the same people I’m used to seeing day in and day out. I thought our life here was better than it would have been in Calusa. Coming out here bettered my self, but at what cost and what have I been missing?

  Regardless of my excitement to be out shopping with a friend, I’m still scanning the sale racks. We found an adorable blue dress for Brielle within minutes of walking in, and now we’re searching something for me. Della has her sights set on the more expensive stores. She’s come across a few things where we’re at now, but it’s nothing she absolutely loves. Like her wedding she’s keeping it simple; no flashy, poofy white wedding dress.

  Della didn’t have a color scheme planned out, but since I let Brielle pick her dress we’re going with blue. There’s about seven different types of blue dresses draped over my arm when I cave to go try them on.

  The three of us grab the largest fitting room and all pile inside. Brielle hops up on the long bench, swinging her legs back and forth as she waits for me to undress. Shopping and cramming into the same fitting room is making me sentimental. I missed the small things like this with my friend.

  “Did that guy ever call?” Della asks as I stand in my underwear about to put on the first dress.

  “What guy?”

  “The one you met on vacation. At the pool.”

  “Oh, him. No.” I shake my head as my arms slip through the open sleeves of the lace straps. This one is a dark blue, not quite navy but close. It’s all lace with a silky slip built in underneath. I turn and silently ask for Della to zip me up. “I forgot about him, actually.”

  For the last two weeks I’ve been obsessing over the almost kiss with Luke—the very hot encounter we had the day before we left. Two weeks and I haven’t heard from him. Not even a text. It’s not like he said he would call. I guess I assumed he would after that near kiss. After admitting he wanted things with us to happen.

  Who makes a promise to basically devour me and doesn’t do a follow up?!

  We’re both tilting our heads as we examine this first dress in the mirror. Then shaking no at the same time.

  Undressing, and on to the next.

  “He was older, but he was still really hot.”

  “A single dad, too,” I add, remembering what I liked about him right away. There’s something about sharing that single parenthood quality that can boost your attractiveness.

  “And you shared an interest in books.”

  I sigh. “Too bad he hasn’t called.”

  “I like Uncle Luke.”

  I’m stuck in the second dress with my arms stretched above me when Brielle spits that little bit of information at us. Finding the holes where my arms are supposed to go is the least of my problems. I grunt as I try to shimmy and squeeze the damn dress over my boobs.

  “Need help?” Della asks.

  “You should date him.”

  “No,” I start by answering Della, but then Brielle’s words register a second later. “Wait, what?”

  I must look like a complete fool. I’m stuck in this too small dress with my arms in the air and standing still as a statue as my daughter tells me I should date her uncle.

  Della goes absolutely quiet. I’m cursing this stupid waste of silk that’s keeping me from witnessing her reaction to Brielle’s comment.

  “He’s your uncle, Brielle.” I state that like there is some law on dating a non-blood relative.

  “I know. I like him.”

  Brielle sounds a little too pleased with her suggestion.

  “Can someone get me out of this dress? I’m stuck.”

  Della chuckles, then I feel her hands pulling the garment off me. Once I’m free my hair does the annoying static cling thing that has it crackling and standing in all directions. I immediately look at Della’s amusing face.

  “He didn’t like that guy you were talking to by the pool.”

  I whip my gaze to Brielle.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because he said so.”

  “I knew it,” Della says almost to herself.

  “Why am I the only one who doesn’t know about this? That was weeks ago.”

  “Uncle Luke used a bad word and told me not to tell you.”

  Della bursts out laughing and I have to bite my lip as my own smile twitches.

  “Did he now,” I murmur.

  “I got sick and forgot about it anyway.”

  “That man has been hung up on you since we were nineteen,” Della shares. “I really thought he’d make his move on vacation. Seems he’s being more patient than I gave him credit for.”

  “He’s still your ex. No matter how old we were, or how much time has passed, he’s still your ex-boyfriend. Your first love.”

  “Pshh. Girl, I don’t care about that. I get that that’s girl-code, but it shouldn’t stop you from admitting your real feelings for Luke. You and I both know he’s never been a passing moment for you. Stop looking for new excuses.”

  Is that what I’m doing? Luke told me I was as well.

  “Okay, next dress.” I grab another dress. This one satin and in an ice blue color. The front dips at a decent level above my chest, not giving away too much of my cleavage. But as for the back…there isn’t one. I step into the silk, pulling it up and over my hips before gliding my arms through the thin sleeves that rest over my shoulders. This one has a side zipper. The moment I get it zipped all the way up, I feel the dress clench to my body in the most satisfying way. The bodice tugs tightly and doesn’t loosen until it reaches my hips, flowing in silky waves to right above my knees.

  The comfortableness alone has me already in love with it, but when I turn to face the mirror and see this beautiful color against my skin, I’m sold. Similar to the bikini purchase four years ago, I feel confident and sexy and brave. I want to show it off to the world. More accurately, I want to stun a certain gorgeous, brown eyed man.

  “Whoa,” I whisper.

  “You look beautiful, Mommy.”

  “I think I get why the brides pick ugly dress for their bridesmaids now. You’re going to show me up,” Della teases.

  “There’s still four more to try on,” I say absentmindedly. Not that I really want to waste the time doing that. Maybe I will pick one of the others for Della�
��s wedding day, but I’d be stupid not to buy this one, even with nowhere to ever wear it to. And Della just said so herself. I cannot wear this as a bridesmaid dress.

  “Not anymore.” I snap my gaze up to hers through the mirror, meeting them over my shoulder. She’s smiling as if this is my big day we’re talking about and not hers. “That’s the one.”

  “Isn’t that supposed to be the line we say for your dress,” I toss at her.

  She gives me a one shoulder shrug. “Already a non-traditional bride, so what does it matter?”

  I chuckle.

  “Uncle Luke says you look good in blue,” Brielle says offhandedly. She’s smiling ear to ear on the bench behind me.

  “Sounds like Uncle Luke tells you a lot of things.”

  “Kinda.”

  Della laughs. “He’s good. Sneaky, but good.”

  Spinning on my heel, I face Della with a quizzical brow. “He’s trying to get to me by using his niece.”

  “Or through your daughter. Depending on how you look at it.”

  Della is finding all this new intel very amusing.

  “That’s why I picked blue.” Brielle beams down at her dress sitting next to her. “I knew he would see how pretty you are if you wore a blue dress to the wedding.”

  “I think your daughter is playing matchmaker,” Della leans closer and whispers.

  “When did he tell you that, Bri?”

  “Spring Break. You were wearing your blue bathing suit. I was in the pool with him, Ethan, and Paul. He told Paul you were killing him, which I didn’t understand so I asked.” Brielle explains with such innocence. “He said it was a figure of speech, but what he meant was that he loved you in the color blue.”

  My bikini. The one I wore on that day. I remember that exact moment because I felt his eyes on me the entire time I striped down to just my bathing suit and laid out to read by the pool. Can’t deny the satisfaction that gives me knowing I was “killing him.”

  “That’s when Uncle Luke cursed too. That guy had started talking to you.”

  Della’s lips twitch.

  I try holding back my smile as I speak to Brielle. “And so you decided we should wear blue because Uncle Luke likes it. Are you trying to set Mommy up with your uncle?”