All This Time Read online

“So I’ll meet you girls at IHOP in morning,” Luke says when he reaches us.

  We stand beside the back door of my car. I’m doing everything in my power to not look into his intense gaze again.

  “Yep.”

  “Cool.” Brielle bounces from heel to toe.

  He opens the back seat door for her, and she climbs inside.

  “Have a good night, Brielle.”

  “Can I call you Uncle Luke? Paul told me I could call him Uncle, but he’s not actually my uncle like you are.”

  “You call me whatever you want to call me,” he smiles down at her as she buckles in.

  “That was very sweet of Paul, honey. He’s letting you know you can think of him as family, too.”

  “Oh. Well, cool. I have so much family now.” She brightens instantly. “The kids at school won’t be able to say anything about me not having any.” Luke’s face hardens as he shoots me with a curious look. “See you tomorrow, Uncle Luke.”

  “‘Night, sweetie.” Luke shuts her door softly.

  Turning away, I reach for my door saying, “We’ll see you there after checkout.”

  “Wait. Liv.” His hand clamps down on the top of the door frame and roof, blocking me from opening it. Luke lowers his voice. “What did she mean by that?”

  He was behind me, and when he reached that arm out to stop my door from opening, it trapped me between his large, imposing body and my car. In a very tight space. Pressed very closely together. Luke smells like the outdoors, the water. The salty breeze that whips through the air and roughens the waves. It’s refreshing and comforting and makes me feel like I’m standing under the sun.

  “She has a school project highlighting our lack of family. And kids are assholes.”

  “So why are you really here?”

  “To show her she’s not alone.” I shrug. “It was a gamble. I didn’t know everyone would be as welcoming as they were today.”

  “We never believed Brady.”

  “Maybe you didn’t. But the rest of the town…” I shake my head.

  “Did something happen?”

  “No. Just a lot of strange looks. Della told me why that is. I really want to hurt your brother, by the way. More than I already did.”

  “Yeah. Get in line.” He grinned, and trapped me in with his smile along with his body.

  Returning the gesture, I caught myself smiling back.

  Luke’s eyes dipped to my mouth.

  This was dangerous. We can’t be this close. Even after all this time, there was unfinished lust stirring between us.

  I cleared my throat.

  He blinked rapidly, dropping his arm, and stepping away.

  “I’ll see tomorrow,” he said.

  Then I ran. Spiritually, at least. I put a safe barricade between us with my car. I then put distance by driving away and heading back to the hotel. Not that it would last. I had only tonight. Somehow, I couldn’t find relief even when we would be returning home tomorrow. My running days were over. Luke wouldn’t be left behind as easy as I did it the first time.

  ~~~

  He was casually waiting for us when we walked inside IHOP. Luke sat in a booth just behind and over the hostess’ shoulder. Impossible to miss.

  Seriously, though. He was not this big of guy six years ago.

  Army did him good.

  He stands as we approach.

  “Good morning, ladies.” His deep voice crawls over my skin.

  “Morning, Uncle Luke.”

  Luke smiles at her greeting. Pleased with her easy comfortability with him.

  I let Brielle slide to the inside of the booth, then I take the edge and sit directly across from him.

  A server pops up at the table within seconds.

  “Good morning. I’m Cassie, what can I get y’all to drink?” The tall, skinny brunette beams from above.

  “Coffee for me, and orange juice for her,” I reply.

  “Coffee,” Luke returns.

  “Alright. I’ll be right back with your coffee.” She keeps smiling with overkill at Luke.

  I’m not even sure if she heard me give our drink order. Brielle may not be getting juice by the way the waitress singled him out.

  “So, Brielle,” Luke starts. “Ethan couldn’t stop talking about you after you left last night. Sounds like you make friends quickly.”

  “He’s fun. And has a lot of toys.”

  “Probably a little too much, but Paul’s a big kid anyway.”

  “Paul is great,” I comment. “They told me they met through you.”

  “Yeah, Paul and I met at basic camp.” His eyes dim, then he’s blinking away whatever thought crossed his mind. “Then we got stationed at the same base in Georgia. He came home with me on our first leave, and the rest is history.”

  “It’s strange,” I murmur. Finding the same comfort Brielle must be feeling around Luke, I open up easily to him. “I spent six years thinking you two were still together.”

  Brielle sits quietly beside me coloring on the kids menu.

  “Still together? What do you mean?”

  I don’t want to speak his name aloud and ruin her good morning. I tip my head Brielle’s way while watching Luke’s face.

  “Oh,” he mouths, nodding.

  “He built a good web of lies. Before he took off he told me Della moved to wherever you were stationed, and y’all were going to get married.”

  Surprise and disbelief stretches across every angle and line in Luke’s face. His jaw ticks below his left ear, holding back his fury for Brielle’s sake.

  The waitress returns, surprising me with our drinks as well as Luke’s order of coffee. She heard me, just chooses not to acknowledge me.

  “Have you decided what you want for breakfast?” she asks, again to Luke.

  I roll my eyes with a smirk. Luke catches it. The tick fades away, a smile taking its place.

  We place our order, Cassie writing in her little pad while I speak is the only indication I have that she’s aware of my existence.

  As soon as she’s gone, Luke jumps back into our Brady discussion.

  “He never told me that part.”

  “Did you expect him to?” I scoff. “He made you all believe I kidnap—” Stopping mid sentence, I glance down at Brielle, finding her blue eyes going back and forth between Luke and I. I look back at him and whisper, even though I know she’s picked up on who we’re talking about already. “We can’t talk about this here.”

  Luke agreed.

  “But Della told me everything. As long as it’s clear between us that it didn’t play out that way, let’s just drop it okay?”

  He nods, but his brows deepen in thought.

  “Della told you what exactly?”

  “His lies.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Please don’t tell me there’s more he’s done,” I plead, exhausted with all the news from yesterday.

  Brady’s well crafted lies, Della’s extravagant life, Dad’s sobriety, Luke…looking like an upgraded version of his nineteen year old self that I thought was already perfect back then. I thought I came home with an open mind, prepared with endless possibilities of change. Yet the changes I found still shocked me.

  “No,” he replies, but his hesitation is clear. There is more to tell. “Uh, so when do you think you’ll visit again?”

  “Not sure, but Della invited us to the wedding. We’ll be back for that in May.”

  “They did tell me that last night. Looks like we’re their bridal party.”

  I laugh. “I found that odd, to be honest.”

  “Which part.” His lips twitch.

  “Della having a backyard wedding, for starters.”

  She’s always been lavish, even when it was beyond her means. Della likes the spotlight, the attention, and never did I picture her having a small, intimate wedding.

  “Don’t let that fool you. It’ll be the most extravagant backyard wedding you’ll ever attend. She met her match with Paul. He doesn’t have muc
h of a relationship with his parents, but he comes from money. He’s a little too excessive sometimes.”

  The way Luke talks about Paul I can tell he admires him beyond their vast differences. If Luke is at all the same in ways of his lifestyle from how I remember, he couldn’t be further from the opposite of his best friend. But Paul’s a genuine, caring guy. Even I could see that from last night.

  “He’s renting an RV for Spring Break. I kinda picked up on the excessive part.”

  “He’s from New York. He doesn’t know what real camping is.”

  We shared a good laugh at Paul’s expense, but if the man were sitting here with us, I’d be willing to bet he’d join in on it too.

  “I really want to go with them, Mommy,” Brielle finally speaks up.

  “I know you do.” I glance down at her. “I just need to check a few things before I commit to going, okay?”

  “Okay,” she replies with exaggeration, causing Luke and I to share a grin.

  Our food arrives. Luke and Brielle start talking about her school project. She has me write down some of Luke’s relatives names. I guess Della filled him in on some information after we left. He asks about living in Tampa, and my job. I leave out the hardships I dealt with in the beginning. That, like the topic of Brady, was for another time when little ears weren’t around.

  He discusses the tech company he shares with Paul. Which vacant store Paul bought, causing me to burst out laughing. They used to work from home, but once they gained enough clients they bought office space in the center of town. Paul never questioned why the building was such a good deal.

  In my mind, from what little Paul told me the night before, I assumed they worked with the smaller companies around town. Their tech involved security, maintenance, and building new programs for businesses. From what Luke was saying, their services stretched beyond our small boarders. Sounds like they were doing very well for a newer company.

  “I can’t believe you went the nerdy tech route,” I say, biting my lip. “Paul looks like one, but you…don’t.”

  He’s masculine and sexy and rough around the edges. Luke went from mechanic to a soldier. So to hear that he’s basically a nerd, it stunned, but it was also hot.

  “Well, he taught me everything I know. Paul’s definitely more advanced, but I can keep up. Besides, someone has to be the businessman and get the new clients.”

  “I’m happy for you, Luke. Seems like you found something you really enjoy.”

  “I think everything has worked out the way it should have,” he says.

  We share an understanding in that moment. Leaving town, both of us the way we did, was meant to be.

  I didn’t have much faith in there being something greater than us; beyond the universe, a heaven or a hell, but one part I believed with a passion was that everything happens for a reason.

  Having breakfast with Luke is the best ending I could have asked for this weekend. I can’t believe I had been so nervous last night when he suggested it. He put us at ease, and accepted Brielle and I like family.

  When we finished our food, and he walked us to my car, I felt good about the future. Of course, Brady could still screw it all up, but I’d worry about him when the time came. My dad is sober and I have so many questions for him. My friendship with Della is on the mend. Luke is going to be a great uncle to Brielle. I’m sort of kicking myself in the butt for not getting him involved in her life sooner.

  Whenever I thought of the past it always circled my friendship with Della. I was so scared to imagine Luke at all, that I forgot about how great he and I had been as friends once. I cheapened our friendship by only remembering how we departed.

  It’s safe to move forward. We’re grown adults. The past is in the past.

  Outside, we say our goodbyes, but it won’t be the last.

  When Brielle is safely buckled in the back, I’m opening my door to get behind the wheel. I thought Luke had walked off already. But he hadn’t. It’s not the same position as last night. I’m not trapped between my car and Luke. At least, not trapped physically.

  His fingers brush down the inside of my arm. Gripping at my finger tips like he’s afraid to touch any more than that. By the electric shock zapping the ends of my fingers, I’m afraid too.

  Not all of the past is going to stay put.

  He stands near, looming above me. What I’m scared of now is the fact that I’m not scared at all. I’m not concerned about Della. She’s moved on and happy. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about Brady. And the town already believes me to be a disgrace, so no sense in worrying there. It would be rather odd to admit I have feelings for my daughter’s uncle, but it’s not the worse idea in the world.

  It all seems too easy, and that freaks me out.

  Thank god I don’t live here anymore.

  “Liv, I’m sorry for all the shit Brady left you to deal with,” Luke says.

  “Don’t apologize for your brother’s mistakes.”

  “Someone should. He’s never going to.”

  “Luke,” I sigh. “Things got really crappy for awhile, but I don’t regret any of it. I needed to go. I hope you understand that.”

  “I do, and I don’t.” He stares down at our hands. “Maybe you’ll tell me all about it some time.”

  “I will.”

  He lets me go. Inside my car, I watch him cross the parking lot to his big truck. Last night I could tell it wasn’t black, but a dark shade. In the sunlight I see the deep maroon with flecks of shimmer bouncing of it.

  I drive away, reasoning once again we can all move forward from here. But my gut tells me it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

  Chapter Six

  Spring Break has arrived. It’s Sunday afternoon and I have been at the office for a couple hours. Connor didn’t get me to change my plans, even when the important client remained adamant about arriving this week. Trying to appease the boss in some way, I offered to come in today and prepare all of the reports into individual packets for everyone attending. I even dummy proofed the packet Connor would be looking at by leaving little memos on sticky notes to help walk him through what he should say for each topic.

  None of it pacified him. I didn’t need him here, yet there he stood in the center of my office failing to glare at me. I kept on tidying up my desk.

  Brielle sat on the floor in the corner playing with a new lego set she begged me for. Ethan had it and she wanted one of her own since he was too far away to play with his. A woeful story that suckered me right in.

  Ethan’s pulled a few tales on Della since our visit a few weeks ago. We’ve texted often about our little schemers, among other things.

  It feels wonderful to have her back in my life. To share the small stuff with someone. Though, I do hesitate to vent parts of my day. I don’t want pity for my struggles, or my choices to go at it alone.

  I decided a few days after we returned that we’d manage just fine by splurging and going on Spring Break with them. The expensive part was covered because Paul refused to take a dime of my money to go towards the RV. I found it fun to mess with him, though. If Della and I were on the phone and he was home from the office, he loved snatching it out of her hand to barrage me about all the fun we would have together.

  Paul’s personality is infectious. I see why Della fell in love with him.

  At my feet, I grabbed my purse off the floor, standing for the face-off with Connor.

  “We have plans, Connor. Glaring at me like that isn’t going to make me walk in those doors tomorrow morning.”

  “I understand.”

  No he doesn’t. I hate when people use placating words to cover silence. Say what they really feel. It’s not like it isn’t obvious already.

  “Here is everything you’ll need for the meeting,” I say, picking up the stack of binders from my desk and placing them into his hands. “The top one is for you. I’ve marked everything you’ll need an answer to for Randy’s questions. He’s predictable. With all my notes inside there, you sho
uld be covered.”

  “Thank you,” he replies blandly, appreciative but irked at the same time.

  “Brielle, pack up your toys, please.”

  The sounds of tinkling legos being dumped in her bag follows.

  Connor glances toward my daughter. His attitude simmers down a smidgen, as if he forgot she was in the room.

  “Hope you have a good time, Brielle,” he says to her.

  She hops to her feet with her back pack zipped up, and bounces up and down.

  “Thanks. I can’t wait to play with Ethan!”

  He nods at her pure joy and excitement.

  “Ethan a new friend?” Connor asks me.

  “Yeah. He’s an old friend of mines son.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know you were going in a group.”

  I could hardly picture Connor laid back and enjoying the sunshine, but nevertheless, he looks crestfallen. Like I left him out. Crap. Should I have invited him? As the guy I’m dating he deserved the courtesy I guess.

  But taking Connor on vacation would be equal to coming in tomorrow. He can’t not talk about work.

  “Just my friend, her fiancé, and their son. I haven’t seen her a few years, so we’re kinda using this time to catch up.”

  Connor gives a placid nod, kisses my cheek.

  “Will I be able to call if I need you?”

  Sadly, he’s referring to “needing” me as work related. Not to talk to me just to hear my voice, or ask how vacation is going.

  “Sure.”

  I love my job. I’m thankful for my job, and I’m very good at my job. Wow. That sounds like a mantra. But because of those values, Connor took all the advantage he could get. He knew I would never say no to this company if it was in my power to help any way I could.

  With his predestined phone call, I conceal my aggravation as we walk out of the office. He locks up behind us, then we part ways at our cars.

  The last time I had a day off from work, Brielle was sick with a stomach bug and missed two days of school. Connor was the type of boss who saw that as time off. Caring for a sick child, vomiting every hour, is not a chosen vacation day. In fact it’s more draining than a work day and I would have rather been at the office.

  But he doesn’t have children, therefore, he doesn’t get it.